Dear EVERYONE,

I’m truly sad to say goodbye to Rachel in her OSU role even as I trust she is making a decision that is right and good and full of grace. Rachel has been a powerhouse blessing when it comes to addressing sexualized violence in the Mennonite church, and I know I am not alone in saying that I will be forever grateful for all of the energy and love she poured into making OSU happen.

I am also excited to step into the role of Our Stories Untold Director. I’ve been a part of the OSU team for years, but I’ve been a bit more behind the scenes than Rachel and Barbra, so I think a little introduction is in order. Hopefully, if you don’t already know me well, this will help you get a sense for who I am and what this transition at OSU will mean for the shape of our work and our community going forward.

I’m a survivor, dare I say thriver, of sexual violence. Like so many others, my first experience of abuse was as a child, and the violence of that experience compounded and was repeated throughout my teenage and young adult years. Secrecy, confusion, manipulation, terror, shame, resilience, hope, strength, voice – you name it, it’s a part of my story. I come at this work as one who is personally acquainted with the nightmare of sexual violence, as one who has discovered in my own experience that the heartrending struggle to rebuild a life worth living in the aftermath of sexual violence can actually pay off, and as one who knows through walking with others that it doesn’t always – that survival is not guaranteed. I come at this work as one who is doggedly, stubbornly, unrelentingly committed to the wellbeing of people who have suffered sexualized violence and people who are vulnerable to such suffering in the future. When I fail (and let’s be honest, I’m human, so of course I fail) to express that commitment as thoroughly as I desire, I welcome being compassionately, respectfully called on it, and rest assured, I will return the favor.

Right now, I am in the middle of a PhD program at Vanderbilt University in theology with an emphasis in trauma studies. I research many and various intersections of religion, Christian theology, liturgical practices, systemic oppression, sexualized violence and trauma. Sometimes, this leads me to write on the ways that Christian theology and practice exacerbate violent trauma. Other times, I write on ways that people who have been traumatized make beautiful use of theology and religious practice in their struggles for survival and wellbeing. As an academic, I have a heart for diving into complexity, and when push comes to shove I would rather sit in the uncomfortable space of complexity than risk misunderstanding the problems before us and their potential solutions. I think that we can acknowledge the intense complexity of sexual violence in our communities and at the same time resolutely advocate for victims and survivors. I think, in fact, we must.

I am also a little ‘m’ minister, a teacher, a learner, an advocate, an artist, a gardener, and a friend. I teach MDiv and MA students at Vanderbilt as a graduate assistant. I, myself, have an MDiv from Anabaptist Mennonite Biblical Seminary, and I formerly worked for two years as the Co-coordinator of Mennonite Church USA’s Women in Leadership Project. I am also one of the founding members of SNAPmenno, and I was a member of the CPT Iraqi Kurdistan team for a good while. My proximity to these various institutions and initiatives will make some nervous and some relieved. I think that what you need to know is that I am on the side of survivors. When that means collaborating with the church, I’m in. When that means standing in opposition to the church, I’m in. In my working and personal relationships related to sexual violence, I hope to embody my conviction that we do this work best when we see complexity as a reality to embrace.

Speaking of complexity, we all, myself included, need to do a better job of recognizing the ways that sexual violence is impacted by race, gender, sexuality, age, geography, ability, socioeconomic position, politics, theology, and so on. In the coming year, we’re going to make a concerted effort to facilitate conversations on OSU that look specifically at the intersection of race and sexual violence in North America and in the North American Mennonite church. We need to create a space in which we can acknowledge, for example, that thousands of black men were lynched in the US after being accused – usually falsely – of sexual interest in white women. We need to find ways of recognizing that this history continues to shape manifestations of systemic racism and sexual violence today. We need to learn to see such lynchings as a form of violence that was sexualized. We need to find a way to have this conversation that doesn’t pit people who suffer sexualized violence against people who suffer racialized violence, because – oh my goodness, there are SO many reasons! I’ll leave it to future articles to spell them all out in detail, but for now let it suffice to say that I am 100% certain that our efforts to end both sexualized violence and racism in our communities of faith will fail if we don’t make this conversation a priority.

Because we have received a number of requests for educational resources/services, and because I have an undying love for education, we have also decided to start making such resources available. We’ll be collecting resources put together by people and organizations we think are great, and we will also be developing some of our own. We may even be available to come to your community and facilitate conversations fitting for your setting. Stay tuned, and send us a message if you are interested.  

Rest assured, OSU will also continue to do what OSU does. Barbra will continue working her activist/advocate/editor magic. We will maintain a platform, as protected as possible, where survivors can make their experiences known. We will support survivors in the writing process. We will draw attention to work that is being done, that is not being done, and to the work that needs to be done for communities of faith to live in solidarity with victims and survivors of sexualized violence. Check out our updated about page to get a better sense for how we see the work of OSU both continuing and integrating new directions.

I hope you, whoever you are, will feel welcome and encouraged to reach out to me any time that you find yourself desiring a closer connection to OSU, interested in contributing your own story or article, or needing to enter into conversation across differences in perspective. Barbra and I manage the site, but this work is done by all of us together.

With deep gratitude for Rachel and all of you,

With twinkly-eyed excitement for the future we’re about to make together,

With love and respect, anger and hope,

Hilary

Barbra & Hilary