Recently “Rae on the Road” spent time in Mesa, Arizona. Making connections with family members I hadn’t seen in years (over 4, at least), it was wonderful to see the women my previously “little” 1st-cousins-once-removed have grown into. Knowing my interest in feminism and “powerful women,” my cousin Kara introduced me to a book series she and the girls have gotten into called “Girlosophy,” by Anthea Paul. I was immediately hooked. Incredibly inspirational and an amazing guide to life for young women, I was envious and pleased that my cousins were reading quality material at such a critical age.
The more I looked through the pages, the more I began thinking, “What if Girlosophy were included into teachings within the (Mennonite) church? How could this kind of material influence young women today? And how could this kind of material make a difference when it comes to sexualized violence and abuse against women?”
I decided to interview my cousin Kara and her two daughters, Annika and Kirsten, about their experience with Girlosophy and what implementing this philosophy has meant for their lives. I encourage you to critically think about these books and how we can implement these within our own teachings and philosophies.
Girlosophy Interview:
Rae: How did you discover Girlosophy?
Kara: In a book store in the teen section. I found it while the girls were looking at other books.
Annika: Yeah… you came over and got it. We had it for a while and it wasn’t until this summer that we got into it. It was our little manual for the summer. We would read little bits and pieces of it together.
Rae: For each of you individually, what is one thing you have learned or taken away from Girlosophy?
Kirsten: From “A Soul Survival Kit” one thing I got or learned from it is that you need to accept the world around you, but not let it affect you in a negative way. Always think positively of yourself and do things that will always benefit you in a good way. And just appreciate yourself for who you are.
Annika: From the same book I’ve learned that you shouldn’t just fit into the mold of society. You should be your own person, but do things that are good for you. Don’t just be different, as in being some emo kid who hurts themselves kind of thing, but be different, learn to take care of yourself and learn what is best for you individually.
Kara: How do I narrow it down? I think the message “strong girls turn into strong women” is my favorite, even now as I’m older. I can still take away the message that it’s about finding your passions, finding your creative spirit, and then realizing those things are your gifts and that’s what you have to offer the world, instead of just thinking you have to do what society says. It’s about nurturing those passions, and if you’re young and do that then when you’re older you have all these experiences and things you’re capable of doing. And had you never fostered that, you would have never known your capabilities. “Girlosophy” is a way of being. It’s not what you’re supposed to do, but what you’re passionate about. And that’s exciting!
Rae: Do you think it’s important for young girls and women to read this kind of literature? And what do you think about these books in comparison to popular fashion or teen magazines?
Kirsten: I think these books are really different from mainstream stuff in a lot of ways because if you talk about looks, teen magazines are always telling you ways to style your hair or do your make-up, but in these books it stresses the natural look. So no make-up or hardly any makeup and kind of letting your hair do anything and not styling it every morning. And if you’re talking about what they value, then the magazines are always talking about how to look your best and pick up guys, or you know, things like that. They give you examples, but have celebrities be your examples like their bodies and what they do. But in the Girlosophy books it’s about accepting who you are and not fitting in the Hollywood mold, but instead accepting all shapes and sizes. It stresses everything that’s opposite in the magazines.
Annika: A lot of the difference is long-term versus short-term, and fluffiness versus deep thoughts. In magazines it’s how to fix things for the next day or the next week. So how to lose pounds in 7 days, or style your hair in the morning. It’s not a long-term goal and won’t benefit you in the long run. These Girlosophy books are about how to alter your lifestyle so it’s better in the long-run, and how to keep those changes for a long time so you have an overall better lifestyle.
Kara: I agree with both the girls. It’s about quality. It still emphasizes beauty and relationships, but it’s the healthy side of that. It’s not how you’re supposed to act or supposed to be a girl getting a guy … it sounds a bit cliché but it’s about the beauty inside. It’s the whole deal. Much more depth of character and talent.
Rae: Do you feel like you’ve gotten these messages before from other books or media?
Annika: I think the message is definitely around. It’s been around for a lot of my life. In comparison to life now compared to when my mom was a kid there’s more of a message for empowering women. This book fits it all in one thing though. This book is solely about empowering young women. I think definitely other sources subliminally are inclusive to gender and races–you never got the impression they were biased–but this definitely puts it exactly into a good perspective.
Kirsten: I agree with Anni, but I think also that though the message has been around, it hasn’t really been stressed. And I think because of media and the fakey things in magazines, it just seems like the message from popular media is different then the message I get out of these books because I feel like they just stress different things. The message has been around, but no one has really stressed it.
Kara: I guess I feel like it hasn’t really been presented in this way before. Yeah, there’s been times I’ve read little articles or heard someone talk, and I thought “Wow, I really resonate with that,” but it’s never enough. Particularly I’ve never seen it starting with young girls, where it’s sort of this whole all-encompassing thing. It’s not just one way to be spiritual… it’s about finding your own path instead of a “how to” guide. It’s more about discovery. I think when you always have these other media messages bombarding you – every magazine cover, everything on tv, music, etc. – everything is sort of anti-girlosophy. So when you have that message constantly bombarding you it’s dominated by those ideas. Really, there’s hardly any Girlosophy out there.
Rae: As you may know, Our Stories Untold is about sexualized violence and abuse within a Christian context. What do you think of Girlosophy is the context of Christianity? Do you see church preaching this kind of message? Do you think Girlosophy has a place?
Annika: I would like to see it presented in religion, but it doesn’t really seem like it will, because in quite a few Christian religions or sub-religions I guess, males are dominate over women, and obviously with a religion they’re not like, “Oh… all spiritual practice are good!” They just think their’s is the best and they’re not super accepting to all spiritual practices. I think it would be great if Girlosophy could be seen more in religion, and not just for young women, but to empower all young people. I think that would be great, but like I said, it doesn’t seem like it would happen anytime soon.
Kirsten: I would definitely agree with that, and I think also I don’t really notice it in any religion that I can think of off the top of my head. And also, I don’t think that very many religions would be super accepting of it, because the books stress thinking for yourself
and being who you want to be and doing what you want to do. But I think within religions they don’t say this out front, but it happens anyway, where there is a certain way they want you to be and certain things they want you to do, and I don’t think the Girlosophy books would be super accepted by people who are hardcore about their religion. Girlosophy stresses individuality, and being free to be anything. I can’t think of any religions that really stresses that.
Kara: I like in one of your articles [said to Rae] when you said you were finding God outside of typical church walls. I think that’s kind of what these books are. I think it’s unfortunate that in Christianity it has such a narrow focus when there could be so many other things included. And I think this Girlosophy totally could be included, but unfortunately it’s a threat because it’s about following your heart. In my mind it’s everything religion could stand for. But if women are oppressed or not allowed to be leaders in the church, or whatever, if any of those things play into it then these books are never going to fit in. On the same token, if we’re talking about empowering women and either trying to heal from sexualized violence or trying to help women understand that that’s not something they have to put up with, then these books are empowering them. So in the bigger picture, it would be great to have Girlosophy in the context of the church.
Also, I like the creativity of Girlosophy. It’s not here are the do’s and don’ts. It’s all about being healthy in your mind, body, spirit, and soul, and to me that’s what religion is about, too. I wish there was more creativity in the approaches churches take. I mean, it could help everyone! There could be guyosophy!
Rae: If you could tell young women you’re own age one thing that you learned from the books, what would it be? Or if there’s one thing you want your generation, or girls you interact with on a daily basis to know, what would that be?
Annika: I wish girls my age would know that it’s really unnecessary for them to be so self-conscious. I know that so many girls my age are self-conscious about themselves, and that’s all they think about. They don’t have time to think about anything else because all their time is spent thinking “Oh do I look pretty enough, am I good enough, is this guy going to like me enough?” All that kind of stuff. It takes up space in their minds so they don’t realize they’re all just naturally beautiful and shouldn’t worry about that stuff.
Kirsten: And on top of that, I would also add that girls should just be who they are. Don’t try to follow popular fashion trends just so people like you, just be who you want to be and don’t worry about what other people think about you. True friends, or true love if you want to go there, will come to you for who you are, not for who you’re pretending to be.
Kara: My peers?
Rae: Ya sure! What do you wish mother’s would tell their daughters?
Kara: To not be afraid to go against the grain or step-out and just be an individual. I think if mothers were either doing that or emphasizing that rather than, “Oh this is what you’re supposed to be doing in high school,” or if mother’s were taking time to discover things about themselves, then that would trickle down to their daughters. Certainly I wish I had more peers that felt the same way I do and were emphasizing these kinds of things, and not all that other stuff that’s not going to matter.
Rae: Which Girlosophy book is your favorite?
All answered together:
“The Soul Survival Kit” is the one that’s all about Girlosophy philosophy.
The food one is just about food and your body and how to remain healthy and eat things that taste good. It stresses body image and eating well.
The MY philosophy is more about creating your own Girlosophy. We were going to write our own, but we didn’t get to it this summer. It’s writing your own life in terms of Girlosophy philosophies.
Rae: Any last remarks about Girlosophy?
Annika: I think it would be really cool if this philosophy could be spread around and become the popular message. I think people would enjoy high school and life more if they took this philosophy on in life. You see these girls walking around and they’re always making sure someone is looking at them, or not looking at them. They’re trying to be like everyone else, be the most pretty, fit in. There are so many girls doing that. I think the world would be a better place without that insecurity.
Kara: Growing up I got a lot of, “You’re a great person,” or “You’re a nice person,” but it was never said that I could do anything and that I was a strong woman. It makes me really proud to sit here and talk to you three girls, because it gives me hope. We’re making some progress. Maybe not enough, but some. We’re moving forward. You girls know what you can do and that’s impressive right there.
Girlosophy Biographies:
Annika: Annika is 15-years-old. During the school year she’s active doing school related things such as homework and practicing her violin. During the summer she enjoys practicing her hobbies, such as painting, drawing, baking cupcakes, and trying new recipes. Her current favorite class in school is her honor’s world history. She can think of way too many things she wants to do as an adult, but something she really loves would be to incorporate science with writing, such as becoming a science journalist. She would like to discover new things, too, and do things that would impact the world in a positive way like finding cures for diseases or discovering stuff about the world or space.
Kirsten: Kirsten is 17-years old and wants to major in architecture someday. She hopes to combine architecture with interior design so she can do the outside and the inside of a building, like Frank Lloyd Wright. Her current favorite class in school is physics. She always enjoys playing her violin and is in the top orchestra at her high school.
Kara: Kara grew up in Iowa on a farm, and currently lives in Mesa, AZ, with her two daughters, her son David (who lives on campus at ASU), her husband Keith, and Skipper the dog. She enjoys anything to do with education, whether teaching elementary or college students. She also appreciates discussing issues in education and learning innovative ideas in education. Gardening and any sort of creating are passions of her, and someday she hopes to get to Europe.
Girlosophy Photo-shoot:
(Photo credit to Kara)