This is a piggy-back post from last week’s, “Calling on Men to Take a Stand.” It’s also a father’s day post, even if it is a bit late.

I wanted to write a post honoring my father–and all loving fathers–on this father’s day.

My father and I in Iowa a few summers ago.

In my line of work it’s far too easy to become negative. Obviously a person can’t generalize an entire half of a population, but after reading endless news reports daily that include instances of men committing violence against women, or even reports of the government putting women in their place through certain legislation, I feel a bit disillusioned about men as a whole population.

My father and I in England, his homeland.

That’s why I want to thank my father.

I never grew up thinking that I couldn’t do something because I was a woman. In all honesty, I don’t even remember gender being any sort of concern within our family. My siblings and I weren’t taught things because of our gender — we were encouraged to do things that we enjoyed. And my father has been nothing but encouraging my entire life.

I had a friend once who told me she had to explain to her father why she was a feminist. He just didn’t quite understand. After their discussion he became very supportive to her work, but they still needed that discussion. I think the fact that my friend and her father could have a heart-to-heart about this important topic is fantastic. At the same time, I look at my own relationship with my father and realize that there was never a point in time where I thought I needed to explain to him why I was a feminist. It just inherently made sense to him–no need for questioning.

I’ve realized that men like my father are a hard thing to come across. But good, real, honest men are out there. As I stated in my other blog post, we should view men not only as perpetrators or possible offenders, but as empowered bystanders who can confront abusive peers. Men have power, so they should use that power to create change in a world full of rape and abuse.

The Halder family in their entirety.

This morning my daily Google news email alert for “sexual violence” popped into my inbox. I noticed that the newspaper I grew up with, the Cedar Rapids Gazette, had an article, so naturally I clicked on it. It was titled, “Reject violence on this Father’s Day.” The article was encouraging men to sign a pledge from the Iowa Men’s Action Network dedicated to speaking out against domestic and sexual violence.

Part of the pledge states: “Before you sit down to enjoy Father’s Day, stand up for what it means. Violence against women and children is a harsh reality in our communities and neighborhoods. We want a community where boys are taught that violence does not equal strength and where men stand with courage, lead with conviction, and speak with one voice to say, ‘No More.’”

My father, sister, and I.

Now, I realize father’s day is coming to an end (hey west-coasters, you’ve still got at least a few more minutes!), but I would like to encourage all men, Mennonite or not, to initiate a move in the topic of sexualized violence within the Mennonite church, and the world as a whole. Women can take a stand and tell their stories, but we can’t do it alone. We need your help.

So, thank you to all those fathers out there who, like my father, never question their daughter’s experiences as a woman. I’d also like to thank all the father’s out there who, like my friend’s father, are willing to have open conversations about topics that seem a bit scary and unfamiliar. And I’d like to encourage all men out there, whether you’re a father or not, to take a pledge to help spread the news that sexualized violence does exist and it’s not just a women’s issue, it’s a human issue.

Our Stories Untold belong to both men and women, and therefore we need support from all sides.