Calling on Men to Take a Stand

“Men who want to support women in our struggle for freedom and justice should understand that it is not terrifically important to us that they learn to cry; it is important to us that they stop the crimes of violence against us.” — Andrea Dworkin

I’m not a man, and therefore can not speak for men. I do think it’s common for men to distance themselves from topics such as sexualized violence though. They may consider these topics as “women’s issues,” just as current U.S. media, politics, religion, and general public tend to think of them as “women’s issues.”

But are topics such as rape, domestic violence, abuse, and sexualized violence really specifically “women’s issues”?

Laura wrote an article for Women Under Siege about the current Violence Against Women Act (VAWA) that is causing dissension and dispute among political parties. The VAWA has been part of the current “war on women,” which Republicans have accused Democrats of purposefully inviting controversial issues to the platform in order to block the bill and to cause dissent among female voters.

But ultimately the real question in all of this is: Why is stopping gender violence a “women’s issue”? In her article, Laura points to the statistic that 74 percent of Americans personally know someone who is or has been a victim of domestic violence.

She eloquently states: “The phrase “women’s issue” is a straw man. We are talking about rape. We are talking about domestic violence, abuse, sexualized attacks, and gender-based murder—issues that affect every American, regardless of their gender, race, or faith.”

This isn’t just a women’s issue. This is a human issue.

I’m calling on all men, regardless of your political stance: how can you blindly stand by the issue of sexualized violence without feeling compelled to use your inherent gendered power to evoke change?

Abuse and sexulized violence doesn’t just happen to women, either. About 3% of American men—or 1 in 33—have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime. It’s estimated that only 50 percent of female rape victims report the abuse. That percentage is even smaller for men who experience rape and abuse.

Perhaps acknowledging that domestic and sexualized violence can and does happen to all genders would lead to shared responsibility in tackling the widespread problem.

The Pixel Project has a list of 10 things men can do to stop violence against women that, if you’re a man, I highly recommend reading. This article positively reinforces men’s responsibility within this issue.

For example, you should view men not only as perpetrators or possible offenders, but as empowered bystanders who can confront abusive peers. Additionally, you should have the courage to examine yourself and question your own attitudes. Educate yourself and others about how larger social forces affect the conflicts between individual men and women.

Finally, mentor and teach young boys about how to be men in ways that don’t involve degrading or abusing girls and women. As a firm believer in intergenerational learning, I think simply being present in a young boy’s life can positively reinforce his understanding of male and female relationships.

For more resources and information for men stopping violence against women, please click here.

I would love to hear what both men and women have to contribute to this conversation. What do you think is needed for men to fight for this issue? How would you like to see men get involved in the discussion? Do you have your own story to share?